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Tonto even utters Nobody's signature line, "Stupid fucking white man," minus the obscenity. And the entire framing device — as Tonto recalls the Lone Ranger in old age in San Francisco — is a straight lift from Little Big Man's year-old Jack Crabb, right down to the geezer makeup. There's a dead ringer for Iggy Pop's cross-dressing frontierswoman from Dead Man, there's some Silver-centric horse comedy that's half Mr Ed and half "My horse, Fritz" from Django Unchained; even the little pink parasol from Alejandro Jodorowsky's El Topo gets a look-in.

The Lone Star Ranger (FULL Audiobook) - part (4 of 6)

Now, I love this sort of thing — it's my job to be tickled by it — but there comes a point when you finally have to ask, where is your movie, Mr Verbinski? Topics Film.

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Reuse this content. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Meeting Mrs H , in the parlor of the Hotel, he upbraided her with having lent her coun- tenance to the secret marriago of his sister, applying to her some very harsh epithets not set down in the code of etiquette. This a- roused the ire of Miss H , a young "and blooming virgin of. We mention this merely as an instance of "true grit" on both sides, ana as a tale of re ality, setting off a very pretty specimen of the romantic.

Wiiat isliespectabiiity? To jude from the conduct and ideas of some personlamong both sexes, respectabili ty consist in driving fast horses, wearing nch laces; drinking champagne, or idling away life To cut a figure iu society, or on the promenade, or at a watering place, appears to be the sole aim of many women, who surely were born for better tilings.

To cultivate a moustache, spoi t a "two-forty" trotter, or -i-jit-us-a modi cjihtDrtor or coats lorsome fashionable tailor, seems' to be tbe conception of a dignified and respectable career formed by not a few of the men. Now being respectable, in either man or womaa is, to our notion, comg waatisduty. The poorest peison, even in what is consider- ed popularly the humblest avocation, who pays his debts, obeys the law, and fulfils his obligationto society and to his fellow crea tures, is a thousand times moie respectable than the wealthy idler, the educated spend thrift, the callous miser or the fashionable fool.

So the modest female whether a seam- stiess, book-folder, pres tender, storekeeper, or ever uousc servant, is, in the true sense of the woid, infinitely more icspectable than the extiaagant wife who is ruining her husband, than the thoughtless votary ot passion, than the buttefly flirt. In a word, worth, not wealth, constitutes respectability. It is what leally w, not what merely seems to be, respectable, that men of sense honor as such.

The millionaii e, who has obtained wealth by knavish practices, though he may creep through the meshes of law, cannot escape the indignant verdict of an honest public; he may give grand dinners, drive a showy equipage, inhabit a palace, and even subscribe ostentatious1;' to benevolent purposes: yet, with all his outside gilding, people recognize the rotteness within, and from the veiy summit of his splendor, trace back the slimy track by which he rose.

Such a man can never become respectable. Pmcbback never yet passed long for gold. Or, as tbe old proverb has it, "you cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. If they are shams now, shams they will remain; nothing, alas! But the young have their habits to form. Let them take a high standard and become truly respectable. A Good Thought on Education. The following brief but beautiful passage occurs in a late article in Frazer's Magazine: "Education does not commence with the al- phabet.

It begins with a mother's looks with a father's nod of approbation, or a sign of reproof with a sister's gentle pressure of tbe hand, or a brother's noble act of forbear- ance with haudfulls of flowers in green and daisy meadows with bird's nest admired but not touched with creeping ants, and almost imperceptable emmets with humming bees and glass bee-hives with pleasant lanes and with thoughts directed in sweet and kindly tones, and words to nature, to acts of benevolence, to deeds of virtue, and the sense of all good, to God himself. The Washington county Post says a chap in a certain village, with whom he is acquaint- ed, having had sanded sugar sold to him in- serted in the weekly paper the following Notice.

I purchased of a grocer in this village a quantity of sugar, from which I ob- tained one pound of sand If the rascal who cheated me will send to my address seven pounds of good sugar, scripture measure of icstitution. I will be satisfied; if not I shall expose him. On the following day nine-seven pound packages of sagar were left at his residence from as many dealers, eaoh suncosin him- i somite hereon intended. Chapter on. Man is the only smoking animal. By this he is distinguished from the brute creation.

Strange thatf reason should have been so long considered as his distinguishing characteristic. Do not the brutes reason as v, ell as he? Doth not the elephant reason when he performeth feats of skill? Aie they not even acquainted with mathematics? Show a handful of corn to a distant chicken, and see, how by her swift approach, she tells you that she knows "that'a straight line is the shortest distance between two points. No living thing, creeping', swimming or flying, can share his honors.

Who ever saw a pickerel or a zebra, or an owl, ambitiously thiusta pipe in his teeth? But man, though a painted savage, hath pow er to knead him up handfuls 01 ceitam clays, to fashion it into tapering smoke funnels, to fill these with narcotic incense, aud burn it before the altar of his nose. Thus he likened himself unto the Invisible, and dwelleth in clouds. The universality of the habit proves strong- ly that it is inherent in man's nature.

Turk, Christian, bond or fice, all smoke. From the blear-eyed apostle of long nines and black strap, to the tallest Corinthian capitals of so- ciety the delicate and gentle scions of aris- tocracy and nobility in all lands all use the fragiant weed. All nations rise up to call it blessed, and like Britannia, it has a Dominion on which the sun never sets The clouds that have withiu a few centuries rolled up from many-piped Germany and Tuikey and other lauds ; from meerschaums, hookahs ; seo-ars, cigaritos, calomers, dudeens, and clay- pipes, might, it would seem, have sufficed to fill the whole sky-dome under which we dwell.

Who knows how much it may have accom- plished in saturating the wide earth with anti- septic and benign juices, and towards the ut ter outlawry ot guosts, noogooims, wancienng friars, astrologers, and other old-fashioned ver- min! And yet there be those of doubtful human-ity-rjdiOjLaiLagauismoking. Scatter the ashes ftom 3'our pipes upon your heads in penitential sor- row.

Surely a habit, whose introduction is nl. Civility Is a Fcrtime.


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Civility is a foitune in itself, for a courte- ous man always succeeds in life, and that even when pcisons of ability sometimes fail. The Inmous Duke of Marihorough is a case in point It was said of him, by one cotempo- rarj1, lhat his agieeable manneis often con- verted aii enemy into a friend ; and, by an- other, that it was moie pleasing to be denied a favor by bis Giace, than to receive one fiom other men.

The gracious manners of Chas. James Fox preserved him fiom personal dis- like, even at a time when he was politically the most unpopular min in the kingdom. The history of our own country is full of ex- amples of success obtained by civility. The experience of every man furnishes, if he will but recall the past, frequent instances where rceonciliatoi j manners have made the fortunes of physicians, lawyers and divines, politicians, merchants, and, iudeed, indiwduals of all pursuits.

In being introduced to a stranger, his affability, or the reverse, creates instanta- neously a piepossession in his behalf, or awa- kens unconsciously a prejudice against him.

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To man, civility is, in fact, what beauty is to woman; it is a geneial passpoit to favor; a letter of recommendation written in a lan- guage that every stranger understands. The best of men have often injured themselves by irritability and consequent rudeness, as the greatest scouudiels have frequently succeeded by their plausible manners. Of two men, equal in all other respects, the courteous one has twice the chance for fortune.

Dobb says that the Devil is an allegorical chaiacter, and means Debt. To debt he traces all tbe pride and trouble in the world, and a large portion of the crime. Running in debt leads to imprudence; imprudence to dissipation; and dissipation to night brawling, low spii it-, ugliness, and assault and battery. Going on tick has ruined more men than gin and sugar. It kills industiy and checks econ- omy. The man who pa's cash for his pur- chases will make a dollar go as far again as any other nersou.

Strike ledgers out of exis- tence, the world once moie leturns to the golden age.

There would bo no more law suits, no more sealing-wax, no red-tape, no self-murders, insboit, no nothing but in- dustry and perseverance high spirits, and receipted board bills. Great invention that cash.

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A lady writer in the Knickerbocker is rather down on "second-hand husbands. It- " Wc whose names are annexed, desirous of connecting more closely the bonds of bioth- eihood, advancing the cause of temperance, affoi ding additional aid iu sickness and ad- versity,. Karnes, This association shall be called the Corsi- ca. Pledge Section 1. Wc will not make, buy, sell, or use as a beverage, any spirituous or malt liquors, wine or cider, or any other alcoholic beverage, whether enumerated or not; but will use all honorable means to prevent their manufacture or use, or the traffic therein ; and this pledge we will keep and maintain in- violate until the end of life.

The preceeding section shall not be so construed as to inteifcre with agents of the laws in the regular discharge of official du- ties. Ill v alcmbcrEhlp. All white male persons of good moral char- acter, of sound health, of the age of "eighteen years and upwards, shall be eligible to mem- bership, and none others. The officers shall be a W. U-, W. The W. T's to have the preference.

Ellsibilitj for Offices. Sec 1. No brother under twenty years of age shall hold any elective office.

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No brother shall serve two teims in the same, during one year except W. No brother shall be eligible to the office of W. No brother shall be installed in office unless he is clear upon the books. No member shall be eligible to serve as W. Eleftion of Officers. The officers shall be elected by ballot at the last regular meeting of each term, and installed at the next legular meeting ; they shall have a majority of all the votes cast and if three or more candidates are balloted for, the one having the lowesvimmber of votes cast shall be withdrawn at each balloting.

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All vacancies occurring during the term shall be filled at a regular meeting ; the brother who fills such vacancy to the end of the term shall be entitled to the honors of the full term. Dulles of Officers.


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Section 1. Tho W.